Thursday, September 12, 2013

Dating Christ But Unwilling to be Married to Him

Hag 1:4  "Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins? Hag 1:5  Now, therefore, thus says the LORD of hosts: Consider your ways. Hag 1:6  You have sown much, and harvested little. You eat, but you never have enough; you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them into a bag with holes. Hag 1:7  "Thus says the LORD of hosts: Consider your ways. Hag 1:8  Go up to the hills and bring wood and build the house, that I may take pleasure in it and that I may be glorified, says the LORD. Hag 1:9  You looked for much, and behold, it came to little. And when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why? declares the LORD of hosts. Because of my house that lies in ruins, while each of you busies himself with his own house.

Every so often I meet someone who denies what Haggai says in the above text.  Of course, if the truth be admitted it is something we all struggle with but some have seemed to have given up the fight entirely.  Haggai tells the people that their lives are not turning out the way they should, that they are not fulfilled because they are living for themselves instead of for God.  They have failed to realize that life can only be fulfilled and meaningful if God is center of it and not just getting along in the flesh.

I have seen this is a couple of obvious ways in people’s lives.  One man told me that his priorities are God, family, church.  My response is that the church is the body of Christ through which God speaks to us and builds us up in the faith.  It is then the place in which your family is fed spiritually and come to learn of God’s will for them. Therefore I would see it more of God, church, family. Of course what he was telling me was that while he has to acknowledge God as the most important thing in his life, after that his next biggest obligation was to take care of and enjoy his family and then attending church comes after that.  More specifically, feeding and protecting his family took precedence over having his family under the ministry of the Word of God. 

Apparently the fallacy of this type of thinking is not as obvious as I might suppose.  My primary response to him is that making sure your family knows God’s will and has the proper relationship with Christ (their spiritual food) is more important than their physical needs.  Of course caring physically for your family is a top priority for any father and husband, but when these two things get mixed up bad things happen just like in the above text.  How many parents will sell their souls so to speak to provide for their families and usually way beyond what they actually need by working during church or being too tired to make it to church and being too busy to train them in the Word of God and their children grow up to follow their example by putting material concerns over spiritual? 

Secondly, this was illustrated oddly enough but not surprisingly by this man’s grown son.  Like so many “Christian” parents, he assumed that the children being involved in all sorts of activities including sports teams was more important than anything else including church services.  Since his son was a gifted baseball player he was involved in all the city and school teams which, of course, means playing on Sundays.  And this in turn meant that the whole family had to support him by being at the games even if it meant missing church. 

When I asked what about having his family in church, his response was that since his boy had committed himself to the team it would be wrong if he didn’t attend all the practices and games.  Now, it is hard for me to take such a response seriously but actually it was quite serious in more ways than one.  My immediate question is what about your supposed commitment to Christ and his body?  What about the souls of your children?  Is it more important to be a good athlete or a good Bible student? 

Yet this is the norm today, not the exception.  Clearly few have any concept of the glory of God and the seriousness of serving him.  I recently heard someone put it like this: “A lot of people are dating the church but are not married to the church.”   Think of it like this, what woman with an ounce of brains and self-respect would agree to have a relationship with a man who just wanted to date her but not commit to marriage with her?  What if he said, “I would like to get together once or twice a week and spend a little time with you but the rest of the week is “me time”.  She would know right off that she wasn’t very high on his list of loves.

And yet many think God will accept this from his creatures.  “God, I have a lot of things I want to do every week, make money, have fun, rest, spend time with others, etc., so when I can I will spend an hour with you and your family but then I have to get back to living my life.  Oh, and sometimes I just won’t have time to get there at all, and I definitely won’t be able to get there more than briefly Sunday morning.”  We are willing to date Christ, but we are not willing to be his bride!  Hearing what he has to say and learning how to serve him is far from the top of our priority list and we wonder why our “faith” doesn’t seem very satisfying, why we don’t get anything out of the messages, why we don’t have much in common with his body, etc. 

Like God said through Haggai, “Consider you ways”.  Busying yourself with your own house while ignoring his house will not end well for you or your family that you say you love.  If we love our families and our own souls we will make sure he has first place in our lives and that our children see that he does.  


  1. Nathan,
    I call this one of those "where the rubber meets the road" doctrinal statements.Your analogy of "dating but not marrying" hits the nail on the head.This is such a hard topic to read because it hits so close to home. A real punch in the gut. What do we value most, what do I value most? And then I think of what an Awesome God we have who doesn't mince words with us but loves us enough to tells us what we need to hear so we will continue the fight of the faith as we press on to Glory.

    Steve S.

  2. Thanks Steve, I write such things not to cause us to despair and give up but to spur us to love Christ as we should and to live like we do as the Lord enables. Our goal is to walk consistently with our profession.